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Summer Romance: Reconnecting on Summer Vacation

Get away this summer and reaffirm your bond.

Not only is it important for your own personal mental well being to take time off work and get away during the summer months, but it is also important for the health and stability of your relationship. Sometimes, however, summer vacations often feels more like work and less like play.

The kids are home for the summer, your house is in a state of constant upheaval, and the pile of laundry is endless. What gives? If you don’t deliberately make it a priority to connect emotionally with your partner, your relationship can easily fall by the wayside.

Here is a quick story from my private practice of how one couple made time to connect while on vacation:

Paul and Erica (names changed for anonymity) packed the Salsa Card Deck and Love Maps Card Deck into their luggage while on their recent vacation to Hawaii. Once the kids settled in on the flight, Paul and Erica flipped through the Love Maps Card Deck, answering the open-ended questions and exploring each other’s likes and dislikes. The amount of new information surprised them, even after years of marriage together. Erica in particular felt a powerful emotional connection stirring while in flight— eager to move on to the Salsa Card Deck.

The couple made an agreement while on their weeklong family vacation. They would select one card daily from the Salsa Card Deck and try a new suggestion for spicing up their intimacy. Their romantic adventures, both inside and outside of the bedroom, created a new meaning for their family vacation. It was no longer “all about the kids.” While sitting on the plane heading back to the mainland, Paul and Erica giggled quietly as they held hands and shared a deeper emotional bond.


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In addition to her role as Director of Professional Development for The Gottman Institute, Laura is a licensed marriage and family therapist associate with a private practice in the Greater Seattle area specializing in pre-marital/pre-commitment counseling.

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