International Women’s Day (March 8) is a global day celebrating the social, economic, cultural, and political achievements of women. The theme this year focuses on the need to Accelerate Action emphasizing the importance of taking swift and decisive steps to achieve gender equality. It calls for increased momentum and urgency in addressing the systemic barriers and biases that women face, both in personal and professional spheres.
That IWD falls during Women’s History Month is no coincidence. Women’s History Month is the time to highlight the contributions of women to events in history and contemporary society. The day is much more than just an observance. It marks a call to action for accelerating women’s equality. It is an acknowledgement that we still have a long way to go to achieve gender equality. According to the World Economic Forum, at the current rate of progress, it will take until 2158 to reach full gender parity.
We support the efforts of countless organizations, groups and individuals who work not just on this day but throughout the year toward gender equality and a more equitable world for women.
Gender inequality
Gender inequality exists in many forms. The gender pay gap continues to persist with women earning about $.82 for every $1 that men earn. Apart from work outside of the home is the work that women do without any compensation known as mental labor. This work that disproportionately falls on women to do consists of everything it takes to run and manage a household and family. There is never a break from the mental tasks of making sure that everyone is taken care of.
Mental Load
This term refers to the invisible cognitive and emotional labor involved in managing household tasks, family responsibilities, childcare, parenting decisions and the family’s emotional well-being. Despite advancements in gender equality, women continue to bear a disproportionate share of the mental load, impacting their mental health, career opportunities and overall quality of life.
Research points to women experiencing more related negative consequences, such as stress, lower life and relationship satisfaction, and negative impact on their careers.
This can be a difficult dynamic to change. Society constantly sends women messages that being a good mother requires putting everyone else’s needs before their own. Both women AND men need to challenge the status quo about women’s time being worth less than others. Mothers need to internalize the message that sharing the parenting load with their children and husband or partner is good not just for them but for the children and family as well.
Strategies to mitigate effects of mental load
The burden of mental labor can be offset by engaging in self care. Women need to take time for themselves without feeling guilty. Self care means putting their needs first. It means doing things that bring them joy, contentment and replenishment. Here are some ideas of what that can look like:
- Physical activity
Take some time to engage in physical activity and work it off. If it helps to diminish stress, bring your favorite music along. The relief you gain from spending time moving your body may lessen your likelihood to snap at your partner.
- Quiet time
Perhaps this is taking time to read that book that you’ve been wanting to read. For others connecting with nature and the outdoors is restorative.
- Social connections
Miss your friends? Make a connection. Whether it’s texting them or meetings up at your favorite coffee shop, be intentional about reaching out to your friends. Taking the time to reconnect with those who feel like your home away from home will leave you all feeling rejuvenated.
Relationship Equality
Research shows that women are the ones to bring up a problem in the relationship 80% of the time. Does this mean that they are never satisfied, that they like to start arguments and are generally disgruntled? No! It means that they are taking responsibility for the wellbeing of their relationship. To take some of this pressure off, develop some Gottman rituals like the stress reducing conversation and the State of the Union meeting so that there are built in times for both partners to address the health of the relationship.
- Accepting influence
Accepting influence is a concept that Dr. John Gottman identified in his research as being a characteristic of healthy relationships. Specifically this is about men accepting influence from his female partner. She has influence in decision making in the relationship and in their partner’s life. Their ideas and perspectives are important and valued. It is the idea of sharing power, having balance in the relationship and respecting different points of view when faced with an issue. Dr. John Gottman’s research has shown that ‘men who have the emotional intelligence to accept influence from women’ have healthier and more satisfying relationships. Children of these relationships have better outcomes as well.
Get Involved
Whether you participate in events, fundraising, or on a more individual level it all makes a difference towards the goal of gender equality. International Women’s Day has great resources available to you in addition to opportunities for local involvement. Here are a list of other organizations doing great work for IWD:
Achievements
At The Gottman Institute we would like to take this opportunity to celebrate the achievements of our co-founder Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman. Her remarkable career as a clinical psychologist, author, and researcher have had tremendous impact on relationship health and couples therapy. Here are some of the highlights of her career:
- Co-founded The Gottman Institute with her husband Dr. John Gottman, creating a research-based approach to relationships that has helped countless couples worldwide
- Developed the “Sound Relationship House Theory” alongside Dr. John Gottman, which provides a framework for understanding healthy relationships
- Created the Gottman Method Couples Therapy, a highly effective therapeutic approach used by thousands of therapists globally
- Co-authored numerous influential books including “Ten Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy,” “The Marriage Clinic,” and “And Baby Makes Three”
- Designed the “Art and Science of Love” workshop that has educated thousands of couples on relationship skills
- Pioneered research on same-sex relationships, helping to develop evidence-based therapy approaches for LGBTQ+ couples
- Mentored countless therapists and psychology professionals throughout her career
- Worked to make relationship research and therapy more accessible across different cultures and backgrounds
Perhaps one of her greatest achievements which often goes unrecognized is her role in bringing the Gottman research, tools and methods to the mainstream. Dr. John Gottman’s brilliant research may never have been adapted into skills for couples to improve their relationships and methods for therapists to use with their clients.
The adaptation of the research into usable, practical tools has helped transform the relationships of hundreds of thousands of couples.
Final Thoughts
International Women’s Day and Women’s History Month are significant in that they serve as an acknowledgement of the importance of the role of women in society as well as a call to action to work toward gender equality. The health and well being of women must be protected and and improved through their relationships. The status quo of their time and needs must be challenged. At Gottman, Inc. we stand with women to celebrate their achievements, raise awareness about discrimination, promote their wellbeing and take action to attain gender equality.
As feminist Gloria Steinem reportedly once said: “The story of women’s struggle for equality belongs to no single feminist, nor to any one organization but to the collective efforts of all who care about human rights.”
