Key Takeways
- Positive Perspective Predicts Success: Maintaining a positive view of your partner and relationship history is critical for long-term happiness.
- Build and Update Love Maps: Knowing your partner’s inner world fosters connection and emotional intimacy.
- Strengthen Fondness and Admiration: Regular appreciation and respect counter negativity and build resilience.
- Turn Toward, Not Away: Responding positively to bids for connection strengthens emotional bonds.
- Avoid Negative Sentiment Override: Seeing each other through a negative lens rewrites your shared story with harmful consequences.
- Use the Love Quiz as a Tool: Assessing your relationship’s Positive Perspective can guide improvement efforts Complete Our Love and Relationships Quiz
Ninety-four percent of the time, couples who maintain a positive view of their relationship’s history and their partner’s character are likely to have a happy future. These partners regularly update their Love Maps, deepen their fondness and admiration, and turn toward each other. When you can see the positive in your relationship, it strengthens your marriage and creates lasting happiness because it is the key to staying in the Positive Perspective.
Dr. Gottman refers to the Positive Perspective as Positive Sentiment Override because, in relationships that succeed, the positive elements override the negative ones. You will find this is a profound force that maintains trust and gives your partner the benefit of the doubt when conflicts inevitably occur. Partners who have a positive view perceive each other’s acts constructively and don’t take their partner’s negative emotions personally. Most unhappy couples are in Negative Sentiment Override, which means they have a tendency to perceive harmless or neutral comments as negative.
Negative Sentiment Override is built on the belief that your partner is not just thoughtless on occasion, but thoughtless in general. As a result, it rewrites the “Story of Us” with a persistent negative spin. The positive aspects get overlooked, and you can see how this puts the relationship at risk.
Do you want to check where you stand? Complete our Love and relationship quiz to help you assess your current level of Positive Perspective and determine whether your marriage could use some attention.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What is Positive Sentiment Override (PSO), and why is it important?
A: PSO is a state where positive feelings and interpretations dominate in a relationship. It allows partners to give each other the benefit of the doubt during conflicts, enhancing trust and emotional safety. This perspective often predicts marital happiness and long-term stability.
Q: How do Love Maps improve a relationship?
A: Love Maps represent a couple’s understanding of each other’s inner world—dreams, fears, and goals. Regularly updating Love Maps strengthens connection, shows empathy, and demonstrates genuine interest, fostering a deeper emotional bond.
Q: What is the difference between Positive and Negative Sentiment Override?
A: Positive Sentiment Override allows couples to perceive each other’s actions in a constructive light, even during conflict. Negative Sentiment Override, on the other hand, creates a biased narrative where even neutral or positive actions are seen negatively, eroding trust and intimacy over time.
The following quiz will help you assess your current level of Positive Perspective and determine whether it could use some attention.
