Get Back on Track During Conflict

Turn arguments around and manage conflict with a few simple phrases.

Est. reading time: 1 min.

Even in a healthy relationship, mistakes, carelessness, and conflict are inevitable. The right repairs at the right time can make all the difference. ⁠
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Resolve disagreements and get your message through by finding common ground, sharing when you feel persuaded, and stating when you need to take a break or when you feel that you’re both moving towards a solution.⁠

Getting Back On Track During Conflict: Pause, Rewind, Repair

I just need this to be calmer right now
Can I take that back?
I need your support right now
Can we take a break?
Let me try again
I’m sorry
I really messed up, I can see my part in this
I want to say this more gently but I don’t know how
I know that this isn’t your fault
Thank you for…
I understand
I love you

Together, you can get back on track during conflict.⁠
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Repair is one of the best tools a couple can have at their disposal. Learn how to use repairs in the Gottman Relationship Coach: All About Conflict collection of workshops, video exercises and more.

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The Gottman Institute

The Gottman Institute’s Editorial Team is composed of staff members who contribute to the Institute’s overall message. It is our mission to reach out to individuals, couples, and families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships.

Publish Date: February 24, 2022

Last Updated: March 4, 2024

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Gottman Relationship Coach: Dealing with Conflict

Original price was: $149.00.Current price is: $99.00.

In “Dealing with Conflict” Drs. John and Julie Gottman guide you through a series of exercises, concepts, and communication skills that can truly change your conflict conversations. With these new skills, going from arguing to understanding is possible. Conflict is inevitable, combat is optional.

In this program you will learn:

Why you keep fighting about the same things, and how to get “unstuck.”
How to address recurring issues within your relationship.
How to approach conflict conversations gently, in a way that addresses specific issues.
How to identify what your feelings and experiences are around issues that are causing conflict, and how to gently bring them up with your partner.
How to understand your partner’s side of an issue, and how to get your partner to understand where you’re coming from.
How to examine the individual values, ideas, and beliefs that influence how you and your partner engage with the world around you.
More about your own emotions.

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