Love Quiz: Do You Trust Your Partner?

Research from Dr. John Gottman’s “Love Lab” has revealed a profound truth about relationship conflicts: beneath the surface of everyday disagreements lie fundamental questions about trust. Through decades of studying thousands of couples, Dr. Gottman has not only identified these core trust concerns but has developed a mathematical way to evaluate them in relationships. Discover Your Relationship Score and see where you stand.

The Science of Trust

When couples enter the Gottman Love Lab, their conversations consistently reveal three core questions about trust:

1. “Will you be there for me?”
2.  “Will you choose me over your friends?”
3. “Will you stay faithful to me?”
   
   

Using the principles of game theory, Dr. Gottman has developed precise mathematical formulas to measure trust levels in relationships. This includes both a trust metric—measuring partners’ faith in each other—and a betrayal metric, which calculates the risk of serious disloyalty in the relationship. How Strong is Your Relationship? Take our assessment to find out.

The Eight Pillars of Trust

Through extensive research, Dr. Gottman has identified ten fundamental elements that constitute trust in a relationship. Understanding these elements can help couples evaluate and strengthen their trust bond. Ready to Assess Your Relationship?

1. Emotional Fidelity and Commitment

At the foundation of trust lies faithfulness—not just physical fidelity, but emotional commitment. This manifests in consistent loyalty and dedication to the relationship. Partners in high-trust relationships demonstrate unwavering commitment to each other, creating a secure base for their relationship to flourish.

2. Friendship and Long-term Connection

Trust thrives when partners maintain a strong friendship. This isn’t just about being friends—it’s about maintaining a deep, enduring connection that withstands life’s challenges. High-trust couples consistently nurture their friendship, seeing it as the backbone of their romantic relationship.

3. Sacrifice and Support

In relationships with strong trust, partners readily make sacrifices for each other and their family. This isn’t about martyrdom—it’s about showing up when it matters most. Whether facing financial challenges, emotional difficulties, or daily stresses, trusted partners demonstrate their reliability through actions.

4. Sexual and Romantic Trust

Physical intimacy builds on emotional trust. Partners need to feel sexually desired and romantically valued. This isn’t just about physical attraction—it’s about maintaining romantic connection through both words and actions, making each other feel wanted and appreciated. Find Out Where Your Relationship Stands in terms of intimacy and connection.

5. Emotional Availability

Trust deepens when partners can rely on each other for emotional support. This means being there during both joy and sadness, offering a listening ear and supportive presence. High-trust relationships feature partners who consistently turn toward each other’s emotional needs.

6. Financial Partnership

Money matters in trust. Partners who work together as a financial unit, making decisions collaboratively and supporting shared financial goals, build stronger trust. This includes transparency about finances and joint commitment to financial well-being.

7. Promise-Keeping

Trust is built on kept promises—both big and small. Whether it’s following through on daily commitments or honoring major life promises, reliable partners consistently do what they say they’ll do. This creates a foundation of dependability and security.

8. Affection and Attention

Physical affection and emotional attention are crucial trust-builders. Regular displays of affection—whether through touch, words, or gestures—reinforce the bond between partners and maintain emotional connection.

Building Trust Through Understanding

1. Understanding these elements of trust allows couples to:
   Identify areas where their relationship is strong
2. Recognize aspects that need attention
3. Work together to strengthen their trust bond
4. Create specific, actionable plans for improvement

The Trust-Building Process

Strengthening trust involves conscious effort in multiple areas:

1. Regular Check-ins: Discuss each aspect of trust openly and honestly
2. Specific Actions: Identify concrete ways to demonstrate trustworthiness
3. Consistent Behavior: Maintain reliability in both small and large matters
4. Open Communication: Share concerns and appreciation related to trust
5. Mutual Investment: Both partners actively work on building trust

Remember, trust isn’t static—it’s either building or eroding. Unlock Your Relationship Insights by taking our comprehensive relationship assessment today.

Want to strengthen trust in your relationship? Schedule a consultation with a Gottman-trained therapist near you who can help you and your partner build a stronger foundation of trust.